Boundaries describe where one thing ends and another begins. Similarly, relationship boundaries help each person figure out where one person ends and the other begins. In short, boundaries help you define what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others. Boundaries can also be described as how emotionally or physically close you let people get to you.
Before getting into how you can fix these boundaries, let’s understand some of the common signs you might have boundary issues in your relationship:
• You feel like your partner is too involved in your business.
• You often find yourself sucked into pointless fighting or debating regularly.
• When in trouble, you have to save them and fix their problems for them.
• You find each other far more invested or attracted to each other than you should.
• And the most common sign that people notice at the very end is you feel suffocated.
Why Is It Important To Set Boundaries?
One of the major factors that ruin a relationship is excessive closeness. When people attach way too much, they don’t realise when they enter each other’s personal space and cross the boundary. This leads to clinginess and over possessiveness, eventually leading to the loss of the relationship. You might be comfortable sharing your location with your partner but not your passwords, or you might want to take off some time of your day for yourself and that’s absolutely okay. By doing so, you are creating a space for yourself and setting the boundaries which are honestly, the right thing to do. Keep in mind that boundaries will look different from person to person though. One person’s needs may look a lot different than someone else’s, and that’s okay too.
How Do You Set Boundaries?
The key to any relationship is to set boundaries and respect each other’s personal space. For starters, understand and recognise your limits — to what extent are you okay with your partner entering your space, and communicate them to your partner. You need to be very direct while having such a conversation. Let’s stop with the “dropping hints” game and get real on it. If your partner does something that you don’t like, telling them at that moment and establishing the boundary would be a great way to make yourself heard instead of waiting for “the right time” to say things.
A relationship should be a balance of giving and take, not take till there’s nothing left for someone to give. Make sure to discuss how far you’re willing to go toward being someone’s ‘fulfilment’ and how you would like, in turn, to be filled. You should always discuss what you expect out of someone, and what you expect to receive so that you both know where exactly to stop, which automatically sets a boundary. Only when your boundaries are known to you, will you be able to communicate them to your partner. When you need someone to understand and respect your boundaries, you need to listen and understand theirs too. Relationships are a two-way street, you need to listen to the boundaries they want to set and discuss those as well.
Setting boundaries can help improve your relationship, self-esteem, emotional peace, and most importantly, it not only benefits the relationship, but it also gives you the space to grow.