Whether it is for answering our frantic calls in the middle of the night or being there when we need them by our side, most of us rely on our friends for almost everything. They know the real version of us, which could be messy, needy, and even mean, yet they choose to love us for it. But for several reasons which we might not even be able to decipher at times, friendships fall apart. All of us are painstakingly familiar with the concept of loss. And while the reasons and magnitude of each loss may vary, losing a friend is never easy.
1. Don’t try to force closure
Closure feels like an emotionally healthy thing to seek – but it has to come naturally, and when you’re both calm. If you’re in the thick of a dramatic breakup with your best friend, it can really tough to explain how you both feel without escalating the situation.
Maybe one day, with time and distance, you’ll be able to better understand what even went wrong. Maybe you won’t. But in the meantime, you still have to move on.
2. Give yourself a lot to look forward to
Since friend breakups can hurt just as much (if not more) than romantic breakups, some of the antidotes – like keeping hella busy – are the same. Dr. Bonior recommends “the same coping techniques that help boost mood in other circumstances – exercise, time outdoors, expressing gratitude, looking to help others, spending time with people whose company [you] enjoy, [and] learning new things.”
3. Meet new people – but don’t pressure yourself to find a new BFF ASAP
If the friend you lost was the person you hung out with most of the time, you can have an overwhelming desire to fill that void immediately (much like wanting to date someone new right after a devastating breakup). Stronger bonds have to happen organically. In the meantime, casting a wide net and opening yourself to new people is never a bad thing.
4. Talk To Someone
Sharing details about yourself might seem difficult at first, but it gets better once you commence with it. If you’re not someone who can journal thoughts, then trying to find someone whom you can vent to is a must. It could be anyone: a therapist, your partner, your family, or your coworkers. Speaking to people prevents you from blaming yourself and helps you see reason. The best advice usually comes from people you would never expect.
